The Myth of the Strong Leader
For most of my career, I believed a good leader was someone who could handle anything. The “good leader” always stays calm under pressure, never drops a ball, solves problems before anyone else sees them, and rarely asks for help - because they already have the answers.
And for a long time, I tried to be that person. I thought strength meant doing more, knowing more, carrying more. I believed that if I stayed a few steps ahead of everyone else, I could keep everything running smoothly.
Here’s what I learned the hard way: trying to be the strong one doesn’t make you a better leader - it makes you an overextended (and worse) one.
The Strength We Get Wrong
When people say, “You’re such a strong leader,” what they usually mean is, “You’re the one who always figures it out.” You’re the one who replies to the 10 p.m. Slack message. You jump in to fix client problems because it’s faster if you just do it. You cover gaps instead of addressing them because the team needs to keep moving.
That kind of strength gets rewarded. It builds credibility and keeps momentum - but it’s not sustainable.
Because somewhere between being the person who can handle it and the person who has to handle it, leadership shifts from strategy to survival. You’re still growing, but it’s reactive instead of intentional.
As Harvard researcher Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” And the same applies to leadership strength. Clarity about your capacity - what’s truly yours to own and what isn’t - is one of the kindest things you can give your team.
Real strength isn’t about absorbing every challenge; it’s about building the systems, people, and trust that make you unnecessary in the day-to-day.
The leaders I admire most aren’t the ones doing everything. They’re the ones developing people who can make decisions, carry projects forward, and thrive without constant oversight.
That’s not weakness. That’s maturity.
The Leadership Shift: From Holding to Handing Off
When I finally started to delegate, I realized how much energy I’d been wasting on maintenance instead of growth.
I used to think, “It’s faster if I just do it myself.” But what that really meant was, “I haven’t taken the time to teach someone else how.”
Delegation isn’t about giving away work - it’s about creating capacity. It’s a skill that takes as much discipline as any other part of business. It forces you to think critically about what you should be doing versus what just keeps you busy.
When I hired my first hired my first virtual assistant, I expected to gain a few hours back. What I gained instead was clarity. I could finally focus on growth instead of task management, strategy instead of logistics.
Strength stopped being about “doing it all” and started being about building a business that didn’t depend on me doing it all.
Why “Doing It All” Is Actually a Risk
We tend to think being hands-on keeps us in control. But if every detail runs through you, you’re not running a company - you’re running a bottleneck.
The truth is, your business can’t scale if you’re its single point of stability.
You can’t lead well if you’re constantly firefighting.
You can’t innovate when your day is filled with admin.
When everything relies on you, your business isn’t strong - it’s fragile.
Strong leaders build organizations that function without their constant presence. They know their value is in setting direction, not managing every detail along the way.
As leadership advisor Craig Groeschel puts it, “If you delegate tasks, you create followers. If you delegate authority, you create leaders.”
That’s the real shift - moving from being the one who can do it all to being the one who builds others who can.
What Real Strength Looks Like
Real leadership isn’t about perfection or control. It’s about clarity, trust, and growth.
It looks like:
Setting boundaries so you can think instead of react.
Empowering others to solve problems without waiting on you.
Building systems that make delegation repeatable and simple.
Taking time to rest and reflect because your company doesn’t fall apart if you do.
You don’t have to be the one who does everything to be strong. You just have to be the one who builds a business that doesn’t depend on you doing everything.
The Bottom Line
Leadership isn’t about being the strongest person in the room - it’s about building the strongest room.
That means surrounding yourself with people whose skills and perspectives complement your own, and trusting them to help you build something bigger than you could on your own.
So maybe strength isn’t about how much you can handle. Maybe it’s about how much you can let go of - strategically, intentionally, and without guilt.
Because when you stop trying to hold it all, you finally make space to lead.
That’s the real myth of the strong leader - thinking your value lies in how much you do. It doesn’t. It lies in how well you build others to do it with you.
Ready to redefine what strong leadership looks like?
